Kill Your Dreams

We seem to be in love with the idea of dreaming of a better life. Most of us grow up being told that we can be anything we set our minds to. So that's what we did. We dreamed of being an astronaut or President of the United States. We've got the dreaming part down.

When dreams hit reality

I can't tell you how many people I run into that seemingly forgot all the dreams they had when they were younger and became realistic. Instead of making their dreams a reality, they stumbled into a profession that was suitable - suitable is a far cry from a dream brought to life.

So what happened? Why does "a dose of reality" uproot more than a decade of dreams for so many people? Something Harvey Reese mentioned on this topic is his book 'How to License Your Million Dollar Idea' really struck me; he said, "Never trying at all keeps the idea alive."

It suddenly made perfect sense to me why so many people don't live out their dreams. They want to keep them alive. We're often told not to let our dreams die, so we protect them. Then eventually after a long history of not taking action on those dreams, the mere allure of possibility becomes enough. We become content vicariously watching someone else live out our dream life behind the safety of our computer screens. For many this satisfies the itch of their dreams and quenches their curiosity. Many fall into the trap of believing it's better to dream than to live - their dreams become an escape from their real life.

Dreams demand action

When dreams hit real life, they take effort and will be accompanied with discomfort and resistance. But how many of us were told to work hard to become President or an Astronaut? It's as if society expected us to watch our dreams die as reality set in. This is no way to live. This is existing. You should only let your dreams die when you choose to, not because they seem impossible or out of reach.

The magnitude of your dreams will correlate with the effort required to attain them. Don't dream big if you aren't willing to work hard; like a toxic relationship, it will only hurt you. If you aren't willing to work for a dream, then you should save yourself the heartbreak and kill it off as soon as possible. It's better to live an average life devoid of dreams than to dream of all you could be and end up in the shadow of your potential.

There's a fine line between a dreamer and a visionary leader. That fine line is called hard work and action. Your dreams only become yours when you start to put the work in. But dreams that aren't acted upon will turn into weights that will hold you down. Dormant dreams suppress our ability to live out our lives; we get too caught up in what could have been that we end up not making it happen. Freedom can be found through killing dreams that don't align with the future you're creating, or by turning your dreams into a reality.

Addition through subtraction

Don't let the awestruck wonder you had as a kid dissolve; embrace that sense of infinite possibility because your belief in the impossible is what makes those outlandish ideas possible. Although it may be true that almost everything may be possible, we don't have time to bring those countless dreams to life. Accordingly, we must mercilessly cut through our options. Eliminate the dreams and ideas that will hinder your growth and press into the ones which lead to the future you want to see come to life. Life is too short not to act on your dreams.

In startups their philosophy is to fail as fast as possible so that resources won't needlessly be wasted. In life it should be no different. The energy we needlessly spend on dreams we never plan on living out is energy that we cannot get back. Ruthlessly cut through your options and determine the ones that will work. The sooner you do this, the sooner you'll be left with options worth pursuing. These are the things that will come to matter far more than any fantasy.

The most difficult part of deciding on which dreams you want to bring to life is that you're not choosing others. This is commitment. In life, commitment is nonnegotiable; if you don't work hard for yourself, then you'll end up working hard for someone else. Not making a choice means that your insecurities ended up giving you the leftovers.

The cost of your dreams

I meet people all over the world who say that one day they want to become someone extraordinary. I look at them and sincerely wish them the best, but many times I can tell that they're only trying to convince themselves when they talk about their future.

Dreams are like talk, they're cheap. But on the flip side, both words and dreams have also been the most powerful force in history, that is when they're backed with supporting actions. The price you are willing to pay for your dreams often determines their worth. If you don't do anything to make them a reality, they're virtually useless.

We try on dreams like outfits. We want to see what it would be like if we lived there or had those type of friends or had that kind of job. We live unsettled and unsatisfied lives because we can't commit to our dreams. Then we wonder why the life we're living isn't the life we dreamed of.

Avoiding regret

As it's crucial to learn from the mistakes of others, you might find yourself wondering how more "mature folks" lose their childlike sense of wonder. I don't believe there's one silver bullet, it just happens one compromise at a time. They slowly give up on their dreams and the life they have ends up being the life they were running from. In my mind, this is the definition of tragedy. Shattered dreams and broken lives are the byproduct of a lifetime of compromises.

Don't spend your life wondering how things could have been. Imagine that you're on your death bed reflection on all the things you thought of but never did. It doesn't matter that unfortunate things happened in your life. Make adjustments, not excuses. Your dreams need to be adaptive, fluid, and resilient in order to be useful.

While you should kill the dreams in your life which have no place there, you should nurture those that have potential. Nurturing in many cases looks like pruning; you have to cut the small branches off to produce focused growth.

I am not an any way discouraging dreaming. Indeed, the sky is the limit, but that sky will soon become a glass ceiling if you don't do something to support your dreams.